People are often surprised to
learn that Confucius, Mencius, Laozi and other classical Chinese philosophers weren’t rigid
traditionalists who taught that our highest good comes from confining ourselves
to social roles.
Nor were they placid wise men
preaching harmonious coexistence with the natural world. Rather, they were
exciting and radical thinkers who exploded the conventions of their society.
They sought to make the world a better place by expanding the scope of human
possibility. The mid-first millennium BC was a similarly turbulent age to our
own, giving rise to debates about how to live, how to be ethical and how to
build a good society. Unlike the philosophers we are more familiar with in the
west, these Chinese thinkers didn’t ask big questions. Theirs was an eminently
pragmatic philosophy, based on deceptively small questions such as: “How are you living your
daily life?” These thinkers emphasised that great change only happens when we
begin with the mundane and doable. Their teachings reveal that many of our most
fundamental assumptions about how we ought to live have actually led us astray.
So what are the ideas we hold dear, and what alternatives do Chinese
philosophers offer in their place?
Stop finding yourself
Our thinkers would be
sceptical of the existence of a true self, especially one you can discover in
the abstract
Here’s one popular assumption: it’s important to look within and discover
who you really are, your true self. Our thinkers would be sceptical of the
existence of a true self, especially one you can discover in the abstract. They
understood that we are multifaceted, messy selves who develop by looking
outward, not inward. Our personalities are formed through everything we do: how
we interact with others, our reactions to things, the activities we pursue. You
don’t behave the same way when speaking to your mother, say, as when dealing
with a junior colleague, your dentist, or a close friend. Each of us is a
complicated being bumping up against other complicated beings all day. Each
encounter draws out different aspects.Who we are consists of behaviour patterns
and emotional ruts we’ve fallen into over time – but that means we also consist
of numerous possibilities of what we can become.
Be inauthentic
We aren’t just who we think we
are, we can work on becoming better people all the time.Once we find ourselves,
the assumption continues, we must embrace and be true to that self. But the
first great philosopher in the Chinese tradition, Confucius, who was born in
the sixth century BCE, would have thought differently. The problem with
authenticity, he’d say, is that it’s not freeing, the way we believe it to be.
Who is that authentic self you think you have discovered really? It’s a snapshot
of you at this one moment in time. If you stay true to that self and allow it
to become your guide, it constrains you. It doesn’t allow for the sort of
growth you experience when you recognise that you are ever-changing.
We flourish when we recognise
our complexity and learn how to work with it through self-cultivation. You
grow, for example, when you understand that you are not a hothead just because
you tend to think of yourself as short-tempered, or shy because you see
yourself as an introvert. Most labels are patterns of behaviour we’ve fallen
into and can be broken. We aren’t just who we think we are, we can work on
becoming better people all the time.
Do rituals
When you smile as if you’re
not angry, or bite your tongue instead of lashing out you are faking it –
acting more mature
The flip side of our reverence
for authenticity is our suspicion of ritualistic ways of behaviour, or what one
might call “faking it”. Isn’t it better to let the “real you” shine through?
Confucius's
birthday reminds us why he still matters
But Confucius teaches that
certain rituals – “as if” rituals in particular – are transformative because
they break patterned behaviours we’ve fallen into. When you smile as if you’re
not angry, or bite your tongue instead of lashing out you are faking it. It’s
because those “as if” moments create a tiny break from reality that they are so
valuable. We act “as if” we are different and our feelings are more mature. By
doing so, we transform into someone who is kind and generous rather than
someone exercising the right to express authentically honest but destructive
feelings. As we complete these rituals again and again, letting our behaviour
lead our feelings rather than the other way around, we become different – and
better – over time.
See the world as capricious
Work with the shifts and
detours – chance conversations, experiences, interactions – that nurture an
expansive life
Just as we often view the self
as stable, we see the world as stable, too. Of course we realise that life can
change, but at the same time we tend to proceed under the assumption that the
world is generally predictable and that we should figure out how we will fit
into it. If we see ourselves as good at maths, we continue along that academic
track; if we consider ourselves whimsical, we seek a life partner who will join
us on our adventures.
Mencius, a Confucian scholar
living during the late 4th century BCE, saw the world as fragmented and
capricious. He would advise that we should work with the shifts and detours –
chance conversations, experiences, interactions – that nurture an expansive
life. Rather than making plans for our lives, a Mencian approach means setting
trajectories in motion.
Stop deciding
When you are contemplating a
big change, your decision will be easier if you try out new related experiences
What’s wrong with a life plan?
When you plan your life, you make decisions for a future self based on the
person you are today not the one you will become.
Rather than boxing ourselves
in by committing to big decisions, the Mencian way would be to approach them
through the small and doable. When you are contemplating a career change, say,
or a break up or move, your decision will be easier if you try out new related
experiences on a small scale. Pay attention to your responses to these
experiences, because they will guide you in new directions.
Be weak
See everything in the world as
connected instead of divided and distinct so you can stay attuned to others
Another popular assumption is that the powerful win out. We are told to
stand strong and be assertive about what we want. But Laozi, in the Tao Te
Ching (probably dating to the 4th century BCE), advocates the power of
weakness over overt strength. People often think this means we should harmonise
with nature. We know students whose first encounters with Laozi entail being led
on a walk in the woods by their well-intentioned teachers to absorb the glories
of the natural world. Passivity is not what he means, though. He says we should
see everything in the world as connected instead of divided and distinct, so
that we can use our understanding of all those connections to stay attuned to
others.
Attunement allows for a different sort of influence. Rather than wielding
direct power over people, you see how to subtly alter situations, so you can
lead others but they don’t perceive you to be dominating them.
Don’t play to your strengths
Live your life as a series of ruptures, because that is what changes you
over time
We’re encouraged to discover
our gifts and strengths and to hone them from a young age. If you were sporty,
you joined the football team; if you always had your nose in a book, you
studied literature. As you grow older, you cultivate these natural proclivities
until they become part of your identity. But take this mindset too far, and you
stop doing everything else.
Our philosophers would
encourage not focusing on who you think you are to break your preconceived
notions. If you think you’re clumsy, take up dancing. If you’re no good at
languages, immerse yourself in French. The purpose is not to make yourself
better at these things, it’s to live your life as a series of ruptures, because
that is what changes you over time.
Don’t be mindful
The tenets of mindfulness as
they are popularly understood is the opposite of what mindfulness was meant to
be
We hear that mindfulness will help us achieve peace and serenity in our fast-paced lives. It is now
even touted as a tool for productivity and effectiveness by business schools,
corporations and the military.
Confucius
can speak to us still - and not just about China
Mindfulness does not, on the
surface, seem all that different from the Confucian notion of paying attention
to your emotional responses. But the tenets of mindfulness as they are
popularly understood – including looking within and accepting what you find
with detached non-judgment – is the opposite of what mindfulness was meant to
be. Buddhism is, after all, the doctrine of “no” self. Confucian self-cultivation is
different. It’s about engaging with the world and cultivating yourself through
that engagement, through each encounter and interaction. It espouses a very
active, not passive, way of cultivating oneself to become a better person.
Rethink the traditional and
the modern
It’s the small actions through
which you conduct yourself that matter most in transforming yourself for the
better
The contemporary assumption
underlying all the others is that we have broken free of a repressive,
traditional world and live our lives as we choose. But if we define a
traditional world as one in which humans passively accept the way things are
and try to fit into a stable, pre-existing order, then we are the ones who are
traditional. The assumptions we hold to be true restrict our greatest
possibilities.
The “Path”, the title of our
book, is a play on the opening line of the Tao Te Ching: “The Way that can be made into a clearly defined way is not the enduring
way.” If you think you can lay out a perfect plan for your life, you’ve missed
the “Path.” Instead, recognise that we are complex creatures constantly pulled
in different directions, and that it’s through working on our interactions,
experiences and responses that we grow. It’s the small actions through which
you conduct yourself that matter most in transforming yourself, and the world,
for the better.
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